The Day You Didn’t Get on the Big Yellow Bus

Dear Brayden,

Okay, okay I never imagined you riding that bus anyway, but I did imagine you attending school. I never imagined being your teacher, but I did imagine being the home room mom, attending every.single.fieldtrip, and being there for all the parties and special events. I never imagined a lot of things, but I could never have imagined how incredibly wonderful the unimaginable  is!

Honey, the unimaginable is that we have the opportunity to homeschool!!! Please don’t think your dad and I made this decision lightly. When I was discussing the unimaginable, I was referring back to when I was longing to become a mom. It’s when we discovered it may be rather difficult to become parents that I began imagining what kind of mom I would be should I be allowed the blessing. I began imagining the unimaginable a few years ago. It started with just some interest and amazement that some families I met homeschooled, and the ones I met were so interesting, unique and God-centered. They were interesting and unique not in a weird way; rather, there was just something a little different and intriguing. I admired these families’ faith walks. I started really discovering you, and you started to teach me A LOT! I thought motherhood would be the other way around, but no, you were the one teaching me. I began to realize you might be one to really benefit from homeschooling, but I never thought I would really do it. Well, more time passed, and I met even more families that homeschooled. What I recognized was that the children were confident, respectful, interesting and enjoyable to be around. God is always so good to me. He always prepares my heart. Things start as a little spark, and he slowly and steadily grows them into flames until they become a full fire. Honey, I’m on fire for homeschooling you now! I’m getting a little emotional because had the birth order of you and your siblings been different, there is a very good chance that I wouldn’t have seen this path so clearly.

Psss…There is a little something I want to let you in on. People are going to judge this. In fact, you’ve already seen it. You listen to every.single.word that is spoken. On one instance I could tell leaving a conversation with someone that you picked up on the fact that she felt sorry for you. Once we were gone, I explained to you that some people don’t know how good homeschooling can be. Your eyes lit up in a millisecond, and you quickly said, “well then, we need to tell them.” It made me smile a ridiculous amount because I was so proud of you. Son, what I want you to know is that people judge what they don’t know and don’t understand; that’s probably never going to change. I’ve been judged my entire life. It has taken me over 30 years to get the point (honesty check – so close to the point) that I really could absolutely care less. I look to God. That is who I care about. Since I’ve been more a student of you, I’m hopeful you are already there and you STAY there.
Brayden Michael, you aren’t jumping on the big yellow bus, but I promise you this – Your kindergarten year is going to be a fun wild adventure. I plan to pour my heart and soul into you, and I look forward to hearing you proudly tell everyone you are homeschooled and just how great it is. Keep on teaching me this year, okay?

Xoxo, Mommy

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